I’m so proud of myself. I set more goals for myself at the start of 2011 (which was an incredibly overwhelming and tumultuous time for me) than I’ve ever set for myself, ever. And 75% of the way through this year, I can safely say I’ve carried most of those things out…
I’m confident in the direction I’m heading in, I’m satisfied with where I am right now, and I’m surrounded by people who are not only supportive and helpful in my efforts to progress and improve, but also have their own goals and aspirations that they are actively working towards every single day.
I stopped saying “no” so much, I’ve stopped declining opportunities because I didn’t feel up to it, or because it was an “irresponsible, un-adult” thing to do, or because there were “more important” things that needed to be taken care of or saved for…
And with that one simple change, saying “yes” more often, I’ve been on some of the greatest adventures of my lifetime. I’ve met some of the most truly unusual and inspiring people who have these grand ideas for what’s ahead of them and fabulous stories behind them. People who, with open arms, invite you into their essential homes and want to hear all about you.
I’ve been able to laugh guiltlessly and embrace each day for what it’s going to offer me instead of dreading each day for what shit it might end up throwing on me. I’ve been able to take things in stride instead of hiding from everyday monsters underneath my covers. I’ve been genuinely happy.
This is not to say I haven’t had my bad days. They’re there, but infrequent. And with their infrequency, I can let myself ride them out instead of fighting them: we all have to reflect, problem solve, sulk, and move on from time to time. And the anxiety I’ve endured for the last forever is never not there, but I’ve learned ways and techniques to work around it, to push it to the side, to step over it. I’ve learned how to laugh at myself and let go: two things I never thought I could ever achieve.
I started this year with the intention of making it mine. I find myself now sharing every little piece I can offer with the world around me. 2011, thank you.